1) I dated and lived with a person for six months who used the most transphobic language I’d ever heard in my life. To the point where I was so upset by his language that I just bawled and bawled when I finally talked to him about it, even though his offensive language wasn’t a personal attack, as I am cis. It was bad enough that I’m not going to write it. But I didn’t leave him for it. I should have, instead of letting the relationship end for other reasons. I should not have stayed around that. I promised myself I would not abide this again in my life.
2) Not a partner or any such thing, but: my statistics professor at a pretty elite public health program regularly uses both language and examples that cut to my soul with how hurtful they are. He seems like he could be a decent enough human who may be doing these things without awareness. I want to believe this. But, what if he isn’t? I have been too intimidated to try to address it. I am terrified that when I try to bring it up…I don’t even know what I am so afraid of, exactly? But I am fucking scared.
But, I think I am breaking the essence of the promise I have made to myself. And also that I, as a person in a position of relative safety and pretty enormous privilege overall, have this obligation to not be silent.
I think I am terrified that I will just start crying because authority figures intimidate the fuck out of me + it’s such a sensitive issue, and that if I just start crying I will probably be totally ineffective at explaining, and it will all just be a horrible experience without much positive outcome.