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I don’t have thin privilege because sometimes I have to wear a belt to make the clothes I find in my size look better on me!
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Anonymous
asks:
Why don't shows use trigger warnings for things like rape and suicide? Being a survivor, I really appreciate you giving these warnings.

The warnings are actually user submitted so I can’t take credit for those, but I’m glad you’ve found them useful. You can send any of yours in as well!

- Mod D.

wholockeddtdt:

You know what pisses me off? So I live in New York and here on the official department of education form you can only select one race. So my mom is Asian and my dad is white which makes me biracial right? But the sheet has no option for that it only lets you choose one. So my mom got all “my daughter is biracial okay?!” And in a rebellious moment checked off both white AND Asian.

Guess what it says on the final form?

White.

Just white.

I’m so angry. I ignored some guys who were catcalling me, and one of them got out of his car and threw his beer at me. As soon as I started swearing at them they ran off. The next person that tells me that catcalling is a compliment can go to hell. 

An entirely reasonable set of conditions

andrewfordlyons:

Hamas has offered Israel a 10-year truce if it accepts 10 conditions. The Jerusalem Post reported this, based on an Israeli Channel 2 newscast. According to Ma’ariv (Hebrew) these are the conditions:

  1. Withdrawal of Israeli tanks from the Gaza border.
  2. Freeing all the prisoners that were arrested after the killing of the three West Bank settler teens.
  3. Lifting the siege and opening the border crossings to commerce and people.
  4. Establishing an international seaport and airport which would be under U.N. supervision.
  5. Increasing the permitted fishing zone to 10 kilometers.
  6. Internationalizing the Rafah Crossing and placing it under the supervision of the U.N. and some Arab nations.
  7. International forces on the borders.
  8.  Easing conditions for permits to pray at the Al Aqsa Mosque.
  9. Prohibition on Israeli interference in the reconciliation agreement between Hamas and Fatah.
  10. Reestablishing an industrial zone and improvements in further economic development in the Gaza Strip.
Are these demands unreasonable or extreme? Why not accept them? What does Israel actually want?

So last weekend a bunch of my friends and I were hanging around this park and i was talking with this guy I had kinda a flirtationship with. He kept on making advances towards me (wanting to kiss me, moving his hands all over me, etc) and of course I wanted to as well but not in front of my friends and in public (I have severe anxiety and it made me extremely nervous) and stuff like that, so I kept pushing him away and telling him no, not in front of everyone, people are looking at us.

But he wouldn’t give up. At one point he had his arms around my waist but when I tried to like break the hug he refused to let go off me so I told him that it wasn’t consensual (those were my actual words) and he told me I was being a buzzkill. And he said since I wouldn’t kiss him he’d give me a hickey as “punishment” which he did (I was pulling on his hair to try and get him off of me but it didn’t work very well) and it hurt :/ .

Further on in the night he said he was texting these other 2 girls to come and meet him because I was “being a tease” and “leading him on” and he felt like he was “being toyed with” so I told him to go right ahead and so one of the girls he was texting showed up and he like ditched me for half an hour to go hang out with her.

Later on, he went home and 2 hours later I got a massive text from him completely blaming me and telling me that I hurt him so much and he has such bad anxiety because I wouldn’t prove my feelings for him and making me feel so shitty even though I was feeling unsure about what he’d done. He wants to talk sometime this week about it and I’m kind of afraid to go near him. I just feel like I’m being manipulated and I don’t know what to do. 

You made it clear you were uncomfortable with public displays of affection, and he kept forcing them on you anyway and ignoring your obvious discomfort and attempts to get away. When that didn’t work, he tried to coerce you into it by threatening to go off with someone else if you didn’t give him what he wanted. When that failed, he wrote you a text trying to guilt you into feeling sorry for him and blaming you for his actions.

This guy is seriously bad news, anon. He’s manipulative and abusive, and his response to hearing “no” is to continue to press the issue and to physically hurt people to get his way. Please steer clear, you don’t owe him anything.

- Mod D.

lifeislikeabadrpg:

uglylilmonster:

lifeislikeabadrpg:

"Don’t be defined by your condition" often seems to mean "pretend your condition doesn’t shape your life or else".

"Don’t let [traumatic life-altering event that causes long-term emotional, mental, and physical health problems] define you" often seems to mean "stop talking about [traumatic life-altering event] and pretend it never happened and doesn’t shape your life or else".

This is an important point.

Just submitting this scares me a bit, because I’m worried he will find out somehow… but I refuse to be afraid anymore.

I was in bed with him, playing around, and suddenly he flipped me over and started to dry-hump me from behind. I laughed, despite feeling really uncomfortable, but decisively told him to stop.

He didn’t stop.

Suddenly, he moved away from me and cried. I looked at him in confusion. “I’m a terrible person,” he sobbed. “You should hate me. I should kill myself, I’m so horrible.”

I was 14.

I was terrified and begged him not to kill himself. I insisted that obviously he must not have meant what he did.

He replied, “you are lucky that you are you… If you were someone else, I would have ended up doing the whole thing… then dump the body in the woods.”

He was obsessed with a girl in his school, having rape fantasies about her and stalked her. I was terrified that he would hurt her, so I pretended to be jealous, and I agreed to all the things he wanted to do in bed, just to prevent her from getting harmed. He regularly reminded me that if I didn’t do it, he would force himself onto her.

I didn’t want her to get hurt.

He did things that I didn’t agree to do. He forced himself on me several times, and tried to choke me during sex and would call me ableist slurs (for being autistic) and wh*re etc…

He kept trying to contact her… I tried to stop him by removing him from his contacts lists when he wasn’t looking, pretended to be jealous, pretended that I wanted to have sex all the time. I did everything in my power to protect her. And he kept guilting me into having sex with him. He played me the whole time.

And all I thought was “there must be a way to cure him from this behavior”. I bought books, read on the internet, tried to find psychology tests to see if I could help him…

He was cruel. But I didn’t realise it. I didn’t want to see it. I convinced myself that there was no way, since he was always apologizing after raping me. And he had gotten raped when younger, so I thought, maybe him raping me was a way for him to get all that stress out. I kept doing research. I struggled and got him two psychologist who just waved his problems away. Finally got him a psychiatrist that gave him anti-depressive medicine, but it didn’t seem to help, in fact…

Three years later… He wrote her a creepy letter with a detailed description of how he wanted to fuck her. She went to the teachers about it. The teachers begged her not to file a police report and instead told her that maybe they could convince him to back off.

I wrote my friend a facebook message. I had lied to all of my friends through these years about what was really going on. But I decided to tell her at least a tiny bit of the truth. So I told her that he “tried to cheat on me”.

She wrote a facebook message to him, calling him out on being disgusting and betraying me like that.

He was angry that I told someone.

He raped me with anal sex. The one thing he had promised me to never do to me.

I just stared emptily. Everything faded away. I realised that all those years I spent struggling had all been in vain… He was beyond recieving help. I realised that I had tried to protect the girl but he had ended up hurting her anyway…

I lashed out on my friend. I kept yelling at her and getting angry at her, and she didn’t understand why. Everything about her just annoyed me. I developed somewhat of a Stockholm Syndrome, but finally, I cut the ties and decided to break up with my then-boyfriend. I didn’t have any evidence of him raping me, I didn’t want to bring any either, my mother wants me to be a virgin until I get married, I was afraid of disappointing her.

It has been eight months.

He has attempted to contact me repeatedly doing these months.

I once called him while drunk, but that’s it.

My friend almost left me. She was one of my best friends, and we almost got driven apart… We are still struggling. I feel horrible for how I blamed her for what happened during those months.

My ex kept contacting me, emotionally manipulating me, trying to get me back…

He follows me on social networking websites, so I have to block him every time…

He pretends to everyone else that he just wants to be my friend, and has no idea why on Earth I’m avoiding him. My own mother has been asking me repeatedly if she can bring him over for Christmas or Easter or something because she thinks he seemed like such a great guy.

All my friends do the same things.

The past eight months, I have struggled with post-traumatic stress disorder, I’m on anti-depressive medicine but it simply makes me feel numb, I’m autistic and I have attention deficit disorder which combined with my depression/numbness makes me completely unable to do anything in school.

I have nightmares at night about him forcing himself on the girl.

I keep blaming myself and feeling as if I’m a coward for not going to the police. If he hurts someone else, I will feel as if it’s my own fault.

I attempted suicide in January because I couldn’t stand the guilt.

I wanted to die.

I didn’t want to go on.

But I’m alive.

I’m not sure why.

You were and are not responsible for his actions, anon. He knew exactly what he was doing when he manipulated you into trying to protect the other girl. He knew exactly what he was doing when he pretended to feel bad for hurting you (and conveniently always AFTER he’d already gotten his way). He knew exactly what he was doing when he wrote her that letter. He made the choice to hurt people. He kept making those choices.

You are not responsible for that. You are not responsible for what he did to you or what he did to anyone else. You are not responsible for him.

Sharing your story here must have been difficult, and I’m proud of you for taking that step. If you’re up to it and can do this, I would seriously recommend you see someone trained in treating victims of sexual violence and abuse. If you’d rather not see anyone face-to-face, then there are hotlines and forums where you can get support and help from people who have had similar experiences.

- Mod D.

fuckingrapeculture:

You know, you have to admire someone who is so determined to get you to care about them they’ll send you messages for 10 months or so, cry about you on reddit, and even go so far as to make an entirely new account to follow you from, especially when you consider they forgot to hit anon while sending their hatemail once and managed to humiliate themselves.

Oh wait, no you don’t, because that’s so pathetic it’s actually funny. Stay mad!

- Mod D.

Seriously, does your wife know how in love with me you are? Does your boss know how much time you spend sending me messages while you’re supposed to be working?

Don’t answer that, I get a message notification but you’re blocked again so I can’t actually see what you’ve said. How sad for you :(

- Mod D.

You know, you have to admire someone who is so determined to get you to care about them they’ll send you messages for 10 months or so, cry about you on reddit, and even go so far as to make an entirely new account to follow you from, especially when you consider they forgot to hit anon while sending their hatemail once and managed to humiliate themselves.

Oh wait, no you don’t, because that’s so pathetic it’s actually funny. Stay mad!

- Mod D.